How Grief Rewrites the Brain
Your brain responds to loss in some ways, just as it would to any serious threat. That loss can involve things such as relationships, jobs, geographical locations, finances, and so on. For the purposes of this post, we’ll keep the focus on grief caused by the death of a loved one. The sudden absence of a person or animal that played a significant role in your life can trigger your brain to enter survival mode. Something terrible has happened, and your basic instinct is to brace yourself for more.
In a less clinical sense, grief rewrites your brain in more abstract and gentle ways. Everything feels different, and your general perspectives on your life can be altered.
The Immediate Effects of Grief
Even if you knew the loss was coming, it can still catch you off guard. Here’s just a sampling of what to expect:
Loneliness: You miss the deceased person, of course, but you also see yourself as alone in how you feel. It can seem to you that no one else understands.
Vulnerability: As mentioned earlier, loss can be perceived as a sign of danger. Therefore, you may find yourself caught up in cycles of worry that border on panic.
Brain Fog: Your mind and body are focused on protecting you. This could make it harder to maintain focus on day-to-day executive functioning.
Anger: You’re angry at the world, and this seriously reduces your tolerance for daily aggravations.
Confusion: You’re confused because, suddenly, nothing makes sense. Also, your confusion can be enhanced by having your regular routines disrupted. If you don’t take care of yourself, it can lead to fatigue and low energy, which, in turn, creates more confusion.
Generally speaking, these experiences are inevitable for someone in mourning. However, if you feel like you can’t bounce back, please seek grief therapy. Either way, there are other, longer-term considerations to be taken into account.
How Grief Rewrites the Brain
During the bereavement period, your brain works to stave off the massive impact of trauma. It creates new neural pathways that can enable healing perspectives. At the same time, the pain of the loss might cause flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, hyper-vigilance, and a strong desire to withdraw from others. All of this adds up to a cross-section of new thought patterns.
Some of these newly wired connections have the potential to be negative. Losing a loved one can bring about a lack of trust and faith. You can become cynical and hopeless. Left unchecked, such tendencies can be challenging to deal with later. If you feel your grief has become complicated and counterproductive, it’s highly recommended that you connect with a specialist.
However, grief also rewrites your brain in unexpectedly compassionate ways.
A Different Kind of Legacy
There are countless important factors at play here. Who was the person who died? How did they die? How much does their passing directly impact your daily life? All of this, and more, can dramatically shape the rest of your life as your brain is rewired in positive ways.
For example:
You learn things about yourself you never imagined and find a level of inner strength that seemed previously unattainable.
Daily life feels less annoying and petty as you choose gratitude and become more prudent in how you allocate strong emotions.
The tragic event can make room to reconnect with others who are grieving the same loss.
You become more willing to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone.
Others begin to lean on you for support, guidance, and grace when they experience a loss.
This is not to imply that we always have a conscious choice in how the rewriting occurs. But it most certainly means that we have a say in where we go from here. Talking with an experienced therapist can help you be more participatory in this process. Contact our office today to schedule an appointment and discover how grief counseling can support you on this journey.
