Real Talk with Hortencia
"Life can still be beautiful, meaningful, fun, and fulfilling even if things don't turn out the way you planned."
~ Lori Deschene
~ Lori Deschene
There’s this thing called the “All or Nothing Mentality.” Seems pretty harmless at first, but let’s really dig into this type of thinking.
If this “All or Nothing Mentality” is applied to relationships, any type of relationship, it has the potential to, at best damage and at worst destroy the relationship. I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’ve all, at some point in our lives, heard the expression: “If you love me then you won’t … (you fill in the blank).” Personally, when I’ve heard this said to me I’ve rolled my eyes so far back into my head that I swear I’ve gotten a glimpse of my brain and the only thing the other person got from me was the best of my sarcasm. This phrase implies that if the other person does whatever is being discussed then they must not love you, but come on now, is this completely true? This is an absolute state of mind, it’s either black or white, no compromise, also not cool. But if this mentality has worked for you then don’t change a thing. However, if thinking this way hasn’t gotten you the results you’ve been looking for then come with me to the “gray” side.
Being in the “gray” side doesn’t mean that because I’m willing to hear you out and have a conversation with you about something that we don’t necessarily agree on that I’m weak or that I’m a push-over. It simply means that I’m going to respect your point of view and hopefully we can come to some type of understanding through compromise and negotiation. And if we can’t come to an understanding – then I’ve just learned something about you that you feel really passionate about.